When we lived in the city I was provided with a big blue box to put all my recycling in, and someone came and took it each week. It made me feel like I was doing something good. I have no idea where they took it or what they did with it, but I felt like I was contributing to the greater good of humanity by recycling. Now I live in the country. No one gave me a blue box. To recycle I have to take it into town. I don’t feel like humanity has missed my contribution. Now it all gets burned in the trash barrel. (please don’t write me and tell me if that’s bad).
My granddaughter #1 (g’baby 1) is 8. She loves upcycling. She will take nearly any piece of trash you give her and make something creative out of it. She’s pretty great at it. I’m sure TLC will give her a show any day now. I have friends that can make terrible looking furniture into beautiful things. Why throw something out if you can keep it and make it into something wonderful? (Disclaimer: Obviously some things need to be thrown out. Some relationships are toxic and need to be burned.)
Unfortunately though, we sometimes burn our relationships when we could recycle them. Sometimes we are in a relationship that isn’t working. Someone has wronged us, we have wronged someone else, we are stuck in a cycle of unhealthy communication, we are just tired of arguing, pride gets in the way of asking forgiveness or admitting wrong doing, etc. Sound familiar? Do you burn it or recycle?
I once worked with a couple that was in relationship hell. They fought, he shut down, she got louder, he had an affair, there were a lot of problems. They wanted to recycle the relationship. They both were committed. They worked hard. Both of them needed to make changes. Both of them needed new tools in their tool box. Both of them needed to put things in the blue box to get rid of. But, both of them wanted to make their marriage something wonderful. And you know what? They did. They are in a mutually satisfying marriage today, and hold one another in high regard. Because they did the work. They recycled when they could have burned it. They recycled their terrible looking relationship into something wonderful.
We live in a disposable society. I know someone that throws away Christmas lights every year because lights are cheap to replace, and they don’t want to untangle the ones from the past year. When my tribe of nearly 20 comes for family night every couple of weeks, I buy paper plates instead of washing so many dishes. We choose easy over effort too often.
The holidays can spotlight relationships with those that we choose to distance ourselves from the rest of the year. What relationships are worth your effort? One with your parents? Your siblings? Your spouse? Your best friend? Any of your friends? When do you recycle and choose effort over easy disposal? Only you can answer that. But at least consider before burning.
Be kind, be grateful, be courageous,
Jules
Sessions from the Heart 